eat poop you cat

and other surrealist adventures

bring it on zombies!

Posted by kd on January 2, 2008

95%

http://www.justsayhi.com/bb/zombie 

When World War Z strikes you’ll want to stick with me. I lost points because I live in a city, but the way I see it, that fact only makes me stronger. Sure, we don’t have WallMart (Minneapolis is the home of Target!) but we do have guns, knives and winter. There may be more zombies in the city, but there’s also more ammo, it’s not called murderapolis for nothing. So while you and your loved ones are hiding in the basement of a house with “save us” written on the roof, I’ll be waiting quietly by the door like a ninja.

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Awesomeness

Posted by kd on December 28, 2007

So, as you know I have a bit of an obsession with the game Portal (check out my Aperture Labs wallpapers) so when I saw this image on Digg I just about pooped myself. It’s Chell of Portal fame immortalized in LEGO glory.

portal

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/qthering/VideoGames/Portal/portal_copy.jpg

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my bad

Posted by kd on December 28, 2007

First of all, I want to apologize to all my loyal readers, OK, reader for my moth long absence. I’ve been working on some other projects and have been crazy busy. Just kidding, I’m actually just really lazy and have been playing Guitar Hero in my underwear, but anyway I will be much better at updating in the future.

As if you needed any more proof as to how awesome I am, I’m currently working on a Facebook app called catastrophic diarrhea where you give each other cholera and rectal prolapses. There is really no point to it and it probably will end up giving your computer a rectal prolapse, but you should expect nothing less from me.

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In case you were wondering…

Posted by kd on November 19, 2007

The answer to life, the universe and everything multiplied by the speed of light divided by three teaspoons is

8.51523871 × 1014 m-2 s-1

link 

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Why didn’t I think of this before?

Posted by kd on November 14, 2007

 paper can’t win

This was on digg this morning. It’s one of those things that you’ve always known to be true, but never realized it until someone else pointed it out.

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Top 5 defenses in case of zombie invasion

Posted by kd on November 6, 2007

We all know it’s coming, it’s just a matter of time before the stumbling masses are clawing through our windows and eating our children and ethnic friends (you know they’re always the first to go). So without further ado, here are the top 5 defenses in case of zombie invasion:

#5 The Boomstick

Boomstick

An oldie but a goody. No home zombie defense kit is complete with out one. These things will blow through doors and zombie skulls alike, never leave home without it!

#4 Chainsaw

Ash kicking ass

Yes the chainsaw. Ever since I saw my first logger leveling a forest with nothing but a chainsaw in each hand, I knew one day I would use this to take down an entire army of flesh craving zombies. That, or an army of eco-hippie-nuts saving said trees. Either way, this tool will give you priceless seconds in the impending zombie invasion. Not to mention how badass you would look running through a crowd of zombies wielding chainsaws and kicking in some zombie face. Hott!

#3 The Cricket Bat

A hit romantic comedy

As seen in Shuan of the Dead this sporting implement will come in quite handy. Whether you’re breaking for tea or batting the heads of zombies, the cricket bat will become one of your best friends.

#2 The Tree Corer

Death by tree corer

You may not have seen this in too many movies, but the tree corer should not be underestimated as one of the zombie hunter’s essential tools. Light, sturdy and pointy this little device will give you much joy as you stab through the hearts of zombie friends and family. Emma (friend of the blog) is prepared to kick some zombie ass, despite what her shirt may indicate. This weapon has great potential in wooded areas. When a zombie passes, you can pretend you are innocently coring a tree looking for unique environmental phenomena hidden deep within the tree’s ring structure. When the zombie passes, that’s when you strike. They’ll never see it coming!

#1 Mila Jovovich

Mila J

I know what you’re thinking, she attracts the zombies, but oh no dear reader, she is the single best defense against a zombie attack! Not only does she kick the crap out of zombies, she looks damn good doing it! I dare anyone to survive a zombie attack without her. This girl can slice, kick, crush and shoot the crap out of anything. She’s like a ninja-pirate-robot, except without the beard. Also, did I mention she’s an ace with a cross bow? Who’s laughing now Stevie!

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Now my life is complete

Posted by kd on November 3, 2007

Hello deadly kitty

Introducing the Hello Kitty Assault Rifle, for all your zombie blasting needs. I believe it comes complete with personal giggling Japanese school girl. Tee he he, death. In any case, you have to wonder about Hello Kitty’s marketing strategy. Link

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An open letter to the state of Ohio

Posted by kd on October 31, 2007

”Most countries post signage, known as traffic signs or road signs, at the side of roads to impart information to road users.” -Wiki

Dear Ohio,

I have but one simple request, please label your streets. I know, it’s a hassle, but it would really help people to hate you less (we still haven’t forgotten the 2004 election). When driving one generally enjoys the comfort of knowing what road they’re on and which roads they are passing. In Ohio, however, one is not afforded that luxury. Your lack of street sings has rendered all of my maps useless and caused me to spend countless hours wandering around in the backwoods of Jesusland. I just ask for this one favor, I’ll even help you put them up.

Reguards,

Kathryn

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Yes, I would like my potato cooked

Posted by kd on October 30, 2007

Last Friday I had the lovely experience of dining at a Wendy’s here in Richmond. Now I know this is not a place where fancy foods and fine dining are to be expected, but you would at least think they would know what’s on their own menu. I don’t usually eat fast food, but I was out and had a weird craving for potatoes. So I drive up to the window and order a baked potato. The guy asks me “what kind of potato do you want?” With a weird and puzzled look, i replied “uh…cooked?” to which he responded “no, like, how do you want it?” At this point I was really confused and just blurted out without thinking, “baked!” and I was promptly shooed on to the next window. In the end I did end up with a baked potato and a few pouches of sour cream (yes, sour cream comes in a bag) so all ended well, but still. Oh crazy Indiana.

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The cake is a lie!

Posted by kd on October 29, 2007

Instead of actually catching up on all the work I had to do this weekend, I decided to make some wallpapers inspired by one of the most fun games ever, Portal. Right now, they are 1440×900 but I’ll probably get around to making them in all sorts of exciting sizes later. Anyway, enjoy!

The cake is a lieCake is a lie white

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